Every day I have to read 5 newspapers.  As a treat, I like to read the comics and the advice columns.  Nearly every day there is at least one letter from a woman who is dating a jackass and doesn’t know what to do about it, or one who is married to a jackass and doesn’t know what to do about it.

All versions go something like this:

Dear advice-giver,
I love my boyfriend very much.  We have been together for 2 months and are thinking about moving in together.  I want to marry him.  He has told me he doesn’t want to get married, but I think if I wait long enough, he will change his mind.  Sometimes he says mean things about my weight even though I am not fat.  Why am I not good enough for him?  What should I do?  Signed – So desperate, I’m willing to live with a jackass.

OR

Dear advice-giver,
My husband and I have been married for 18 years and 3 months.  I am the only one with a job.  He does not work because he is lazy he hurt his back.  Even though he is capable of working, he still stays at home looking at porn online or playing video games all day long.  He doesn’t help with household chores.  When I want to spend some money for myself, he calls me selfish and makes me feel like crap.  Why am I not good enough for him?  What should I do?  Signed – Sick of being married to a jackass.

My two main responses are:

Dear Desperate,
Two months?!  Are you crazy?  Dump him.  He is a jackass.  Figure out what it takes to be happy on your own, then MAYBE allow a good man to enter into your universe of fabulousness.  Avoid all jackasses.

AND

Dear Sick,
I want to say, “Dump him”, but marriage vows are a serious thing.  Have you tried kicking him in the ass?  Have you tried canceling your internet service or burning the video games?  Have you tried taking his name off your savings account?  He can only have power if you give it to him.  If he’s willing to change, give him a chance to do so, but he should prove himself worthy.  If he’s not willing to change, well, the choice is up to you, but life is too short to be married to a jackass.